Author’s introductory note: Many times we contemplate suicide because of the people and society around us pushing us and influencing us to go against our better judgement. For me that was a major part of my past “story”. Addressing that can be part of healing the root cause of your depression or stress. I feel it was the lesson I came to learn. Here is a short little post that summarizes the journey. I share hoping it can help someone else gain some tools to help themselves.
When it comes to dealing with Energy Vampires and Toxic People, there is such a thing as a student path and a master path. Obstacles and challenges happen in your life because your meant to face them and learn from them. They help you become who your meant to be; sometimes we have to come lifetime after lifetime before we get it right. These lessons and challenges will present themselves to you over and over again until you learn. It’s tricky; the lesson is the same but it looks a little different every time. Look for themes, patterns, things that repeat. When I look back on my life I see that my lessons started at age 3. Later in life it was a new person,job,medicine, relationship,book,guru and new approach but it’s all part of the same theme and the same lesson. The good thing is you get lots of practice. The bad thing is it’s going to hurt, it could be very hard, if you don’t learn it could kill you. There may be levels of energy vampires from least toxic to super toxic. I was born into super toxic. Energy Vampires and being taken out of myself was an ” obstacle course” I have had to face hundreds of times. I failed thousands of times before I started really listening and trusting myself. Here is a high level review of how I learned my lessons.
Student Path; She doesn’t see the obstacle/lesson coming, she is too small to defend herself. She needs food and shelter so she puts up with the intense abuse. She is terrified and knows to get away, she runs away over and over and over and over but they always find her. She finally gets away, she gets hurt it’s a disaster. She promises herself she will never allow this to happen to her again later in life she thinks she’s learned her lesson but she really begins a pattern of running away. She doesn’t believe in herself. She doesn’t see the obstacle/lesson coming she gets hurt its a disaster. She doesn’t see the obstacle/lesson coming she gets hurt its a disaster. She makes the same mistakes over and over and over over again doing the same thing over and over and over again. No one can help her because only she knows her obstacle and only she can learn her lesson. People all over will offer her advice she tries them all but none of it works. Deep Inside a small voice, her own heart gives her advice but she doesn’t listen.
Intermediate Path I; She sees the lesson/obstacle coming this time but she still is caught off guard. Her heart gives her advice she ignores it. She tries something new, now she is trying many new things to see what works. She still gets in trouble. She still is in pain. She feels like it’s hopeless. She feels like giving up. She gives up and runs away. She still hasn’t learned the lesson. The lesson/obstacle comes again. Sometimes she follows her heart that makes her happy. But the lesson comes again and she decides to try more advice from a book she has read she gets hurt again. She earns many battle scars from all of her ordeals. Many mask many symptoms many tangents and distractions keep her running further and further away. She gets very sick so sick she almost dies. Now she is forced to face this obstacle/lesson/challenge again. This time It’s way worse than she can imagine.She sees the lesson/obstacle coming, it doesn’t matter what face shape it has she knows the patterns and strategies well. She vows to learn them like the back of her hand. She studies and reads everything about her lesson and obstacle, she also learns the value of her internal guidance system her natural instincts. She studies her opponents, she learns all of her opponents strategies and methods and understands all the dirty tricks. She knows her opponent will use deception, trickery, and manipulation she learns about all of that too. She understands the ways her strengths and weakness get used against her. She understands how flattery, charm, guilt, fear, intimidation, and distraction are the weapons used against her. She understands the mind games and the lowest places her opponent may take. They will threaten death, marriage, love anything to invoke fear, guilt, remorse, love. She just can’t help herself she needs love so she pretends to believe, deep inside she knows it’s another mistake. She doesn’t learn her lesson. She is vulnerable beat down and defeated. She is just numb.
Intermediate Path II: The lesson/obstacles comes with a vengeance. The lesson comes this time as everything she has ever wanted. It looks like a dream. It looks like heaven but really it’s the lesson/ challenge/ obstacle. It comes like it’s never come before. She knows she can’t run anymore she knows this is the big test. She digs her heels in determined to learn the lesson. She goes to battle, she almost dies but she’s determined, she learns about all her weaknesses. She gets hurt again, she almost dies. She is humiliated, shamed, ostracized, punished, tortured but she won’t give in. The big bad wolf has come and he is not alone he has his whole pack. She deals with it alone and does not ask for help. She is determined but still ashamed but starts to think she has more power. She wins some battles but knows she has not won the war. She starts meditating daily and asking god and her angels for help. She calls on her animal helpers and any spirit that can assist her she starts listening and believing. Even through her tears she prays and asks for help.
Master Path: The lesson/obstacle comes again; this time she sees the obstacles coming from a mile away. She listens to her heart she trust her intuition implicitly, she remembers all the previous lessons and challenges. She looks at her face and sees all the battle scars. She’s not falling for this shit again. She knows she has power and she uses it. No one can trick her anymore into acting small. Of course her opponent pulls out their bag of tricks. She applies her wisdom. She vents now she learns to open up and ask for emotional support. People try to offer advice which she wasn’t asking for, but she knows they don’t know her challenges the way she does they don’t have a fucking clue what she is dealing with, finally she ignores their advice but appreciates their support and friendship. She trust herself and her higher wisdom. She see’s the whole lesson/obstacle/pattern/ theme from miles away she eventually avoids the whole thing. She doesn’t take any of it personal anymore. She prays for her haters and enemies and knows they are souls like her learning their lessons too. She knows she is not a bad person for taking care of herself it’s mandatory. She doesn’t let guilt or false promises trap her in an illusion because she remembers the facts. She stops questioning herself when more spiritual people imply she is making the wrong choice. The lesson shows up once in a while to make sure she’s sure. She smiles and walks on by. She feels at peace.