When Does Spirit Visit? (Amanda Linette Meder)

The 4 Most Common Occasions When You Are Visited By Deceased Loved Ones

by Amanda Linette Meder, Psychic Medium

If you have ever had someone you love cross over to the realm of Spirit, you might be wondering to yourself – how come they haven’t visited me yet? Or perhaps you thought you experienced something strange a few nights ago, and you think it was your grandmother, but maybe it was a broom falling in the closet instead. It’s a close call, right? Your closet is kind of messy anyway. . . .

While the above scenario is definitely a possibility – brooms are loud, afterall – I’d like to share with you a secret:

If you have a loved one who has crossed over into Spirit, they have tried visit you!

Yes, that’s correct – in fact, the #1 message in readings is, “Hey, I’ve been trying to visit you! But no one has noticed. . . .and let me tell you how it happens!”

While there is a common theme in HOW they visit (see below), there is also a common theme for WHEN your deceased loved ones are visiting you. Once you identify when and how your loved ones will likely visit you, you’ll be increasingly more aware (and prepared!) for the next time your loved ones want to stop by to share with you their love and support.

In order for a deceased loved one to visit you, a great deal of energy must be expended on their end – coming down to the physical realm, shifting their energetic vibration so they can be felt, moving objects or making noise if they can, etc. Since it takes so much energy for your deceased loved ones to visit – your loved ones want to make the most of their attempts to connect with you. To ‘make the most of their visit’, your deceased loved ones have a few ‘optimal’ time frames, where connecting with you, sharing with you their love and support, and assisting you on your life journey – would be most valuable, accepted and noticed.

When You are Alone

The #1 opportunity a Spirit has to visit with you is when you are alone. Your ‘alone time’ is one of the only times of day when you are not distracted by other people – thus more likely to notice the subtle shift in the presence of another. If your alone time is in the evenings or in the very early morning, you might even be LESS distracted because you are preoccupying yourself with fewer tasks. In the evening, many of us are winding down for the day, and naturally, unloading all of our distractions – communications, media, chores, to-do list, mental chatter.

The less distractions you have, the clearer your mind is, and the more likely a deceased loved one might be able to get your attention. It’s like trying to hear a very small whisper or a feel a tiny quake in the earth – if you are “busy” – you might just miss it! Sensing a deceased loved one can range from a very subtle shift in the air around you, a coolness or a heat in the room, to a very heavy feeling (like a thick blanket!). Each Spirit is different, and has a unique signature for how they visit. While you are learning, being aware to all of these shifts is most noticeable when you are alone. This is still true for me – sometimes I ”miss” the presence of Spirit when I am cooking dinner, out with friends, or working on administrative stuff, anything where my attention is not on my surroundings.

So, when are most of us alone? Yup. At night. Spirits don’t love night or have some sort of fascination with this time of day. Your deceased loved ones didn’t become strange and want to stop by as a bump in the night, simply this: WE are more in-tune with ourselves at night. Less distractions, more freedom for our senses to pick up on subtle changes, feelings, sounds, or sensations – when we otherwise may have been preoccupied texting a friend!

There are also times of days when the veil between the spiritual world and the physical world is thinnest – which can make it easier for you to sense Spirit.

When You are Sleeping or Dreaming

This is actually an extension of ‘when you are alone’. Even if you do share a bed with someone, usually, when you are woken up from a sleep – you are doing so as the only one awake in your house! Thus, sometimes, a loved one may attempt to visit you at night, especially if this is the only time you are calm and your mind is quiet. While your loved ones don’t always *intend* to wake you up (sometimes they just like to be with you!), occasionally they will. Next time you are suddenly awoken, a visit from a loved one may be the reason!

Another popular time to visit you, is during your dreamtime. Since those in Spirit are without a body and exist in an energetic form, they can and do communicate with you through the energy of your mind – thoughts, emotions, and imagination! Often, we only allow our ‘intuitive’ mind, the side of the right side of the brain, to speak to us in our dreams without interruption! This is the side of the mind that Spirit will come through to communicate with you, if you are clairaudient, too! Time and time again, your loved ones will say to me, “Tell her I talk to her on her right side!”. This is your creative, intuitive, and imaginative side – and it has the most freedom in your dreams. Thus, many spirits choose to visit you during dream time!

Learn more about Visitation Dreams here. 

During a Difficult Time

Perhaps you are going through a rough time – a time of transition or crisis, a time or existential reflection, a relationship shift, a period of release and letting go, or time of questioning. If you lost someone who was your cushion to fall on, your comfort and support, or your shoulder to cry on – your loved one will still visit you to provide you this comfort. In fact, this is really common for grandmothers and romantic partner who are on the Other Side! However, if your difficult time is a period of grief, it is very difficult for deceased loved ones to connect with you through this emotion. In fact, they often describe grief as a heavy cloud, that behaves like a way, and until the cloud is lifted, they may be unable to pass through.

On another note, if you lost someone who always knew just how to cheer you up or bring you joy -may even attempt to visit you to continue providing this gift – both to you and to others in need.

During Memorable Events

Wedding, engagements, births, sport events, ceremonies, presentations, promotions, buying a house, sending a child of to college, winning an awards, releasing yourself from a bad situation, and more! These are ALL events that your loved ones do not want to miss. If you are concerned that your mother passed just before the birth of your child, don’t be! She was there :). And she wouldn’t have missed it for the world!

When your deceased loved ones DO NOT visit you:

Worried that your loved ones on the Other Side are watching you change your clothes for bed, shower, or during an intimate moment? Ask yourself, “Would my grandfather have watched me shower while he was alive?” If the answer is, “No!”, the answer is still no. If your loved ones would not have violated your personal privacy, they still respect and honor those boundaries.

However, would you have a problem if your sister chatted with you while you were showering? After all, you may have shared a bathroom for years when you were growing up! In this exception, this loved one might visit you on this occasion, since it would’ve been totally normal behavior for her, while you were both on earth!


Your loved ones want to connect with you, and they are going to use the most likely methods for you to notice! Don’t pay attention to your dreams? They may not even bother coming to you this way, and instead try to catch your attention when you go downstairs for a midnight snack!